Anticipating the Top 12 Most-Disappointing Movies of 2013 -Part 1
Well, the “Year of Movies” (as 2012 was called towards the end of 2011) is over. 2013 is here and it appears to be full of even more sequels/prequels/reboots. From The Smurfs 2 to The Secret Life of Walter Mitty to Oldboy and more, 2013 promises to be “entertaining” at the very least.
While most people are posting their lists of movies they can’t wait to see in 2013, I am posting for you what movies to possibly avoid disappointment from in 2013.
To see what movies to possibly look forward to in the next few months, be sure to click and check out their articles:
- Flixchatter’s 10 Most-Anticipated Movies of the First Half of 2013 (Jan-June)
- FogsMovieReviews’ The 2013 Winter Movie Season Preview
- TheSoapBoxOffice’s Top Ten Most Anticipated Movies of 2013 -Part I
(You can see all the 2013 releases for yourself HERE.)
Below are not necessarily the movies I am predicting to be the WORST of 2013. They are simply the films I predict to be the greatest disappointments of the first half of the year. In other words, the ones that you want to be good for some reason…but they will leave you either sad, mad, demanding a refund, or all of those choices combined. Hit the jump to check out my fun list of what will be the Top 12 Most-Disappointing Movies of 2013 (1/month with an added “avoid” recommendation for each)! :D
**(Click any movie in this color to visit its IMDB page for more info.)
- Gangster Squad -I want this one to be good. But…it won’t be The Untouchables or Scarface flick that everyone wants it to be. Mark my words. Lower your expectations and you MAY just enjoy this one a bit more than most, but it will still disappoint…even with its big cast.
- (Also: Recommend avoiding A Haunted House -Those of you expecting it to still be fun, don’t be fooled. Don’t spend your money for the cheap laughs you see in the trailer. You’ve seen it all before!)
- A Good Day to Die Hard -“Yippie kay yay,” Die Hard? Stay away. Nothing will bring back the grandeur of the original. Not even Bruce Willis teaming up with Jack Reacher tough guy Jai Courtney as his son in a fight against terrorists. Expect bullets, explosions, some MacGuyver/Jack Bauer stuff and cheesy one-liners, but the days of Die Hard have already died.
- (Also: Recommend avoiding Safe Haven -How many Nicholas Sparks novels do you have to see to know they all end the same way? Stop giving him money for such horrible sappy movies.)
- The Croods -Expecting DreamWorks Animation usual quality will lead to great disappointment with this one that looks more like a neanderthal-ish version of Pixar’s Brave than a Princess Fiona ancestor story. Under the direction of Kirk De Micco, whose only other directing credit is Space Chimps. You remember Space Chimps…no, no you don’t. Skip it.)
- (Also: Recommend avoiding The Host -Author of The Twilight Saga, Stephanie Meyer wants more of your money as she battles 3 other hopeful “Twilight replacements” this year with Beautiful Creatures, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Only one probably worth watching…Catching Fire.)
- Olympus Has Fallen -Gerard Butler used to be a name that made people run to theaters. Esp. after 300. The first of two 2013 movies about The White House being taken over stars Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Dylan McDermott, Ashley Judd, Melissa Leo, Angela Bassett and more. Directed by Antoine Fuqua (Training Day aaannnddd Brooklyn’s Finest) this one hasn’t even begun its marketing campaign and will disappoint. Thrilling, yet disappointing. Rent it.
- (Also: Recommend avoiding Pain & Gain -Michael Bay directs Dwayne “The [Tooth Fairy] Rock” Johnson and Mark “The Fighter” Wahlberg in a trio of scheming bodybuilders in the middle of an extortion ring. In a ridiculous plot that mixes Hit & Run with The Bank Job, expect there to be multiple explosions where there shouldn’t be, along with slo-mo running. And running is what you should do from this movie.)
- The Great Gatsby -As much as it pains me to say that Baz Luhrmann’s movie will disappoint (being such a big fan of Moulin Rouge), I’m here to tell you that it will. Plus, not really digging the whole Jay-Z composing the soundtrack for a film based in the 1920’s. This remake, based on the F. Scott Fitzgerald book of the same name, has a great cast, but ultimately will be compared to several previous versions and thus disappoint. Tons of hype…not saying it will be bad, just saying it will disappoint more than you want it to. Watch..pushed to May from Christmas 2012…just watch. It won’t come close to making back its $127 million budget.
- (Also: Recommend avoiding The Hangover Part III – Everyone will go hoping for more laughs and the expectations is a different direction than the first two…but the first two raked in the dollars so they are not going to stray too far from the money-making formula that is repetitive and seeks to outdo each one before it. Expect little originality, tons of grossly overexaggerated humor and events. Watch it with a group, but don’t expect much.)
- World War Z -Did you see the first trailer for Brad Pitt’s upcoming zombie apocalyptic movie? (It’s posted below). Something about this anticipated film just screams “BOX OFFICE BUST!” to me. The CGI, the premise…I didn’t read the book, but very little about the trailer makes me want to see it. I keep expecting Will Smith to show up with his German Shepherd or with Shia LaBeouf on the back of his motorcycle with guns to…oh, wait, wrong two movies. This will disappoint the fans. I assure you. The Walking Dead and 28 Days Later it isn’t.
- (Also: Recommend avoiding White House Down -(Remember Olympus Has Fallen?) :) Ah yes, it’s like the Snow White movies of 2012. This one is sure to bring tons more destruction, perhaps the White House will get blown up as director Ronald Emmerich loves to either blow up the White House or see bad things happen to its residents in his previous movies: The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla, Independence Day, 2012 and more. Now that you know what he’s done, you know what to expect only it won’t be as epic. Starring Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal and more expect this one to let you down, however, it will be the “Snow White and the Huntsman” to the “Mirror Mirror” of Olympus Has Fallen as it tries to compete against the mid-summer blockbusters like Man of Steel, After Earth and Monsters University.)
—–End of Part 1—–
There you have it. My first 6 of the 12 most anticipated disappointments of the first half of 2013. I may end up eating my words, but then again, so may you! :P Don’t worry, I’ll be right there to console you with the words “I told you so on January 4, 2013!” (or in my review of “said” movie).
Do you agree with the films I expect to be the largest disappointments of the first 6 months of 2013. AGAIN, just because it’s on this list, doesn’t equate to the movie being “bad,” just that it won’t live up to the expectations placed upon it by the media, actors, critics and movielovers. Only time will tell. (Part 2 [July – Dec] will post sometime between now and June!)
Tell me, what film do you expect to disappoint you the most between January and June? Leave a comment.
Thanks for reading. Happy Watching!
-T, The Focused Filmographer