Now Streaming…Netflix “No-No’s”
Consider this: You finally have a night off alone and you experience an unexpected realization that you have 2-3 hours of free time to do whatever you want! What do you do?
2. Read a book?
3. Browse YouTube videos?
4. Go to the movies?
All sounds fun, and then you remember that you have a Netflix account and can stream a movie without having to go sit among some chatty movie watchers or having to try to sneak your own candy and coke into the theater all “Mission Impossible” style.
How many times have you pressed “play” on a title only to find out 2, 10, 45 mins later that it was a waste of your time and you kept watching either (1) in futile hope of it redeeming itself, or (2) for fear of searching/choosing a different title only to be met with the same disappointment, or (3) in some valiant altruistic effort to finish what you started?
Never fear! I am here to end this epidemic known as “Streaming Sadness.” This first post is the inaugural article in a series I have entitled:
(**I only use Netflix regularly. So, while I check out what is on AmazonPrime, CinemaNow, Crackle, Hulu+ and other such streaming services respectively, this series only focuses on that with which I am most familiar. Feel free to leave comments/recommendations from the other streaming services you may enjoy if you wish.)
So below I have 2 currently available “Now Streaming Netflix No-No’s” for you, along with 2 currently available alternate choices that you should choose instead! Enjoy!
No-No #1: Post Impact
Looking for an end-of-the-world, post-apocalyptic type movie. Don’t watch this one. Starring Dean Cain and a bunch of other actors that are more than likely “unknowns” to you, this film is just horrific. It may appear to be “there’s-nothing-else-to-watch” good, but it isn’t. Bad acting and terrible special effects that make Harryhausen look like a CGI genius, here’s the synopsis from Netflix:
After a meteor hits Earth and leaves much of the planet a frigid, desolate wasteland, Capt. Tom Parker and his motley band of scientists and soldiers are given the dangerous mission of saving the few remaining survivors.
A 7-mile-wide space rock is hurtling toward Earth, threatening to obliterate the planet. To save the world, the U.S. president appoints a steely veteran astronaut to lead a joint American-Russian crew into space to destroy the comet before impact.
No-No #2: Monsters
Looking for a movie with aliens/monsters, people searching for them, and danger and mystery around almost every corner? Yes? Well, you may want to still skip Monsters. A 2010 release that surprisingly was liked more by critics than audiences, but one that I still found to be rather ho-hum. By director Gareth Edwards (who is set to direct the new Godzilla), this film was nominated for several awards, but do not let that fool you. Not really worth the time. Here’s the synopsis from Netflix:
Six years after aliens invaded Earth, a photographer is documenting the war-torn Infected Zone that straddles the U.S.-Mexico border when he’s interrupted by an unexpected rescue mission.
Alternate Choice: Trollhunter :Follow an aspiring investigative reporter student and his film crew as they shadow a man they suspect to be a poacher after evidence of illegal bear shootings begin to surface in Norway. Hoping to expose a bear poacher they soon come to find that the reclusive hardened suspect believes himself to be a government-sanctioned employee on the trail of giant trolls and this one and only Trollhunter uses the “bear killings” as a part of a coverup.
While investigating a series of suspicious bear killings, a group of students trail a mysterious “hunter” who tries to elude them at every turn. The group soon learns that his prey is far more dangerous and mystical than mere bears.
This exciting subtitled psuedo-documentary style film puts you right in the middle of the suspenseful action and is surprisingly a lot of fun to watch. Check out my friend Jaina’s review of the foreign film here.
Well, these are just simply recommendations of Netflix No-No’s. (I’d also like to point out that EVERY single one of the reviews I have written are still always available to check out by clicking the link on the top of the page that says “List of Movie Reviews…the Archive.”) What do you think? Do you actually like the ones I posted to avoid? Share why in the comments. Have you bothered to see the alternate recommendations? Have any Netflix No-No horror stories to share of your own? Hit up the comment section.
May you all have some pretty great “Nights in with Netflix.” (Esp if you watch TROLLHUNTER). End your “Streaming Sadness” today!
Thanks for reading! Happy Watching!
-T, The Focused Filmographer
(Did you like this segment? Want to see more? Let me know by pressing the “Like” button or leaving a comment.)
up next: Trailer Time Thursday!
***Do not forget! Voting for the RED WEB AWARDS remains open until Saturday night. Vote for your faves before it’s too late.