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“Rant about the Ridiculous”: Blame it on the bag!

July 20, 2011

I Found it!! THIS must be the bag that movie makers pull from for the majority of their films!

Hollywood truly seems to be running out of ideas! Nothing but remakes, sequels, prequels, and films about things that NOBODY cares about seem to be hitting the big screen in record numbers lately. What was the last big movie you saw that left you speechless or in awe at the unexpected pleasure you received (or headache) because it was so original, appealling, and good? Inception ?The King’s Speech ? Black Swan ? Never Let Me Go ? Tree of Life ? Sure, there are a few, but for every ONE good movie, it seems FIVE or TEN come out that are just…unoriginal and/or horrific remakes or continuations of possibly already-ridiculous films!

Take a look at just 12 of the RIDICULOUS films from January 2011 to now:

(We won’t go any further back to the monstrosities that arose in 2010!):

  • Season of the Witch (Nicolas Cage, please stop!) =RIDICULOUS
  • Drive Angry 3D (again, Nicolas Cage, please STOP!) =RIDICULOUS
  • Big Momma’s House: Like Father, Like Son (Tired of Martin Lawrence overweight and in a dress! If you’re going to make a sequel at least go do Bad Boys 3) =RIDICULOUS
  • Beastly (Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens just needed Mrs. Potts singing “Beauty & the Beast”) =RIDICULOUS
  • Red Riding Hood (predictable fairytale with a Twilight copycat and bad acting) =RIDICULOUS
  • Hop (an Easter bunny that plays the drums! Who comes up with this stuff?) =RIDICULOUS
  • Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (Seen it a million times before! Tyler, cut it out!) =RIDICULOUS
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (Johnny Depp was best in the first one, from there, they all just sunk lower!) =RIDICULOUS
  • Green Lantern (DC’s attempt at taking a B-list superhero and making him great. Sorry, Marvel did it much better with Iron Man.) =RIDICULOUS
  • Zookeeper (Kevin James isn’t funny by himself, making him Dr. Doolittle adds insult to injury.) =RIDICULOUS
  • Mars Needs Moms (This animated movie flopped for a reason. Why? Because it’s…) =RIDICULOUS
  • The Smurfs (releasing next weekend, Two decades TOO late.) =RIDICULOUS

Take a look at 12 RIDICULOUS projects that are on the horizon:

  • A LIVE Captain Planet Movie? Admit it, you all hated the cartoon anyways! So why make a movie? =RIDICULOUS
  • TWO completely different retellings of the fable of Snow White in the space of 2-3 months next year! Why? She isn’t THAT popular! =RIDICULOUS
  • Remake for The Evil Dead with Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell, and the rest of the original production crew? Why not leave the classic alone?! =RIDICULOUS
  • Godzilla returns. Legendary Pictures has hired screenwriter David Goyer for a Godzilla Reboot! =RIDICULOUS
  • Indiana Jones 5 ! The Crystal Skull adventure was hard enough to watch! But Harrison Ford is up for it! =RIDICULOUS
  • Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. A sequel to the previous Nicolas Cage comicflop. =RIDICULOUS
  • Titanic 3D. (reformat release) No one wants to see this, but James Cameron loves doing superlong movies in 3D. =RIDICULOUS
  • Scary Movie 5…=RIDICULOUS (enough said)
  • Ice Age: The Continental Drift. Just give Scrat the acorn already! =RIDICULOUS
  • The Expendables 2. Now, I liked the first one, personally. But what else do they want to do with this? Leave it! =RIDICULOUS
  • Halloween 3D. Somebody put Michael Myers to rest already. =RIDICULOUS
  • Oh, and The Dark Tower film project based on Stephen King’s novel and set to star Javier Bardem just got cut by Universal. Now THAT is…=RIDICULOUS

Norm MacDonald said it right! “Completely Ridiculous!”

Well, that’s my “Rant about the Ridiculous” for today! ahhh, I feel much better now! Very therapeutic! hahaha. Pardon me as I go burn that bag now!

How about you? Anything from the movie makers just irritating you lately? Feel free to share! Leave a comment!

Thanks for reading! Happy Watching!

TheScarletSp1der

up next: A very exciting edition of “Trailer Time Thursday!”

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20 Comments leave one →
  1. July 20, 2011 2:32 pm

    I personally don’t think the major problem with Red Riding was the acting. I blame it squarely on a uneven script and terrible directing

    Like

    • July 21, 2011 6:22 am

      haha. I say watch it again Julian! 😀

      Like

      • July 21, 2011 1:16 pm

        I will admit there were some good moments in it, but for me Hardwicks directing was too…fairytale-esq. It seemed like the script called for something darker, and it hardwicke seemed reluctant to deliver that. I think with a different director the flaws in the script wouldn’t have been nearly so noticeable.I think with a better script and different director it could have been something much better

        Like

      • July 21, 2011 6:19 pm

        ooh, who would you choose to be the screenplay writer and the different director? I’m curious.

        Like

      • July 22, 2011 1:19 pm

        Hmmmm…maybe Nolan, or Alfredson(The guy who directed Let the Right One in), or Bring SInger, or perhaps David Yates(The guy who has been directing the last few harry potter films). For screenwriting, Nolan would be a good choice for that as well, but perhaps a writer or 2 from the first 2 X-men movies could have worked.

        One thing that i found particularly annoying in the movie was how everyone talked as if the werewolf was such a brutal killer, but none of his victims look all that injured. That i think is one good example of Hardwick shying away from the darker elements if the script(which imo the few moments of greatness came from)

        Like

      • July 22, 2011 1:26 pm

        Nice point! I like what you bring up about the werewolf and his victims. solid.

        I’d be more interested in seeing it if Yates directed. that’s a nice choice! perhaps. I don’t know if I’d like Nolan to screenwrite only because he does such a great job at BIG movie projects…and I just don’t think Red Riding Hood is deserving of that. although it’d be an interesting challenge for him. I’d go with maybe someone like Luc Besson since he’s not afraid to let some violence show off in his films and can balance some comedy and storyline at the same time. (Taken, Colombiana, From Paris With Love, Fifth Element, Transporter, etc.) He’s just who first comes to mind.

        Like

  2. July 20, 2011 6:26 pm

    I agree with most of your sentiments except captain planet…I loved that show! and Love Indiana Jones movies…even if they are a little cheesy.

    Like

    • July 20, 2011 7:05 pm

      I think Captain Planet was enjoyable in its time, but i don’t think it needs a movie adaption

      Like

      • July 21, 2011 6:24 am

        “Captain Planet! He’s our hero! Gonna take polution down to zero!”

        LOL. I always felt bad for the kid with the power of “heart!” Not as cool as the rest. hahaha

        Like

    • July 21, 2011 6:23 am

      Thanks for commenting! I wish there was more originality flowing from Hollywood.

      Don’t get me wrong, I love Indiana Jones too…the first 3 only though. I read that Harrison Ford is actually okay with the possibility of his character dying in the next one. hmm? What do you think about that?

      Like

      • July 21, 2011 11:00 am

        noo poor indy! but ok if they kill off his character as long as the indiana jones series dies with him it wont be good without harrison ford!. I didnt really enjoy the last movie but I think that was mainly because Lebouf is a terrible actor and aliens just dont belong in Indiana Jones.

        Like

      • July 21, 2011 6:16 pm

        I actually don’t mind LeBeouf, it’s just that he was a bad choice for Indy. as were the aliens! yes!

        Like

  3. July 20, 2011 8:14 pm

    Hollywood, damn them… but we can’t deny that every now and then, they get something right and it can be nothing short of mind blowing…

    Like

    • July 21, 2011 6:25 am

      true. there are diamonds amongst the coal.

      Like

  4. Matthew Bassett permalink
    July 20, 2011 8:39 pm

    hahaha. Great post T. I agree with almost everything. I do agree with Bluej, I love Indiana Jones and enjoy the movies cheesy or not. I feel the same about the Pirates movies. I am known for enjoying movies that a lot of people don’t. For example I thoroughly enjoyed Sucker Punch. I thought it was quite original and unique and entertaining. The soundtrack is freaking awesome too! The Expendables 2 has a good shot at being just as good as the first and hey, sometimes you have to take the risk. As always T. a great read, keep up the good work.

    Like

    • July 21, 2011 6:26 am

      You know, I’ve actually been wanting to watch Sucker Punch again. The biggest issue I had with it overall was the ending.

      This post was fun to write! Just had to get that outta my system. LOL. Thanks for the thoughts Matt and the support! Always appreciate it!

      Like

  5. TheSilkSpectre permalink
    July 21, 2011 1:32 am

    I loved Captain Planet. Depending on the graphics and such, I might just see it. But I’ll wait for the trailer to decide.

    Also, for your last point, all I saw at first was “Dark Tower” and ridiculous. And I was about to freak out on you, but then I read the rest of it. Haha.

    Like

    • July 21, 2011 6:28 am

      Best Friend! I actually hope there is never a trailer for us to have to see. LOL.

      ah, I knew some people would take a second glance at my Dark Tower statement! 😉

      Like

  6. July 21, 2011 5:13 am

    Haha, brilliant! The big brown bag of Bad! Hollywood’s bag of bad is like Mary Poppin’s purse. ‘Oh look, here comes a Green Lantern shaped umbrella!’

    Like

    • July 21, 2011 6:29 am

      “Green Lantern shaped umbrella!” Love it! Perfect!

      Thanks for stopping in and commenting!

      Like

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