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Review: Titanic 3D (…but not really)

April 6, 2012

Titanic 3D

  • Starring: Kate Winslet (Titanic non-3D), Leonardo DiCaprio (Titanic non-3D) and Billy Zane (Titanic non-3D)
  • Directed by: James Cameron
  • Synopsis: “A tale of love that ‘never lets go’…unlike Rose!” Oh, and spoiler…the ship sinks! (sorry)
  • Rated: PG-13
  • Trailer:

😀 Haha, okay. Don’t hate me! In all seriousness folks, I have absolutely no interest in sitting through another 3 hours of James Cameron’s amazing film. It’s obviously amazing as it is one of the biggest grossing films of all time! People LOVE it. I just have no inkling at all to check it out. I saw it once…that was enough. Ironically, that’s how I also felt about Cameron’s Avatar. Surely I’m not the only one who feels this way about Titanic. And actually, I KNOW I’m not. See, someone refilmed it in 5 seconds for me! Look!

ROTFLOL 😀 😀 😀 (You KNOW that was funny!) Don’t try to hide that laughter! I see you trying to hold your laughter in! 😉

If you’re wanting a serious review for Titanic 3D, you will have to look elsewhere. I just thought I’d take a moment and have some fun with it while I’m sure some of you are ready to come after me with torches, knives, and pitchforks!

Tell me, are you excited to see Titanic in 3D? Are you avoiding it? Do you care? Tell me why in the comments below!

(In no way do I intend this post to be disrespectful to the events of April 15, 1912…I just am entertainingly expressing my disinterest in revisiting those events and the mushy love story that James Cameron immortally attached to it.)

Thanks for reading! Happy Watching!

T, The Focused Filmographer

My thanks to my friend “GoldenBear” for the line used in the pseudo-review!

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16 Comments leave one →
  1. GoldenBear permalink
    April 6, 2012 11:43 pm

    That was a great line about the iceberg, wonder where you got it? Lol

    Like

    • April 10, 2012 11:57 am

      Thank you

      Like

  2. April 7, 2012 1:48 am

    I’m afraid I’m desperately excited to see this on the big screen again. Not so much in 3D but hopefully that will be good too. The five second version’s not bad either.

    Like

    • April 10, 2012 11:58 am

      Hey Pete, well, it is definitely a film that holds a special place to many people.

      I’ll stick with the fun 5 second version though! 🙂

      Like

  3. April 7, 2012 1:00 pm

    I would love to see it in theaters again, but not in 3D. So I’ll pass. The best thing that can come out of this is that Titanic is finally going to be released on blu-ray.

    Like

    • April 10, 2012 11:58 am

      You think it will be released on Blu-ray? Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that.

      Like

  4. jackdeth72 permalink
    April 7, 2012 2:15 pm

    Hi, Terence and company:

    Meh!

    Saw ‘Titanic’ on DVD after it first came out. A big budgeted, splashy, great period piece. Though I have no reason, need or desire to see it again. 3-D or not.

    3-D and IMAX haven’t been perfected yet. Both mess with my inner ear, depth perception and induce headaches and nausea. To say nothing about what germs and other delights reside in and on those 3-D Glasses!

    Securing my inner Dr. Sheldon Cooper now.
    Carry on.

    Like

    • April 10, 2012 11:59 am

      hahaha. Carry on! We see in alignment here my friend!

      although, I must say, I have seen firsthand the sanitization process for 3D glasses and am glad to report that it is satisfactory to me.

      Like

  5. megaman permalink
    April 8, 2012 5:48 am

    Lolz! Awesome review! =) Happy Easter!

    Like

    • April 10, 2012 12:00 pm

      🙂

      Like

  6. April 8, 2012 1:52 pm

    Ahah, even in 3D they still can’t see the iceberg!! Well, someone mentioned on Twitter that apparently there’s unobtanium in that iceberg, that’s why it was indestructible! 😀

    I’m w/ you T, I have no interest in giving Cameron more $$ for him to swim on by seeing this. I appreciate the film when it first came out, I even bought the DVD but no, not gonna be sucked in again to see this.

    Happy Easter, my friend!

    Like

    • April 10, 2012 12:01 pm

      ah! Unobtanium! That explains it! thank you for that my friend!

      I hope your Easter was fantastic! Thanks so much.

      Like

  7. April 9, 2012 2:33 pm

    LMAO!!!! Ahahahahhahaa…love this. When ur review came to my email, I was thinking why the Heck did he waste his money to see this in 3D. Cracked up laughing after reading this non-review. I share the same opinion of them re-releasing this film in 3D. Thanks for the laugh T!

    Like

    • April 10, 2012 12:08 pm

      hahahahahahahahaha. I knew some people would be wondering why I watched it. LOL. It makes me laugh knowing that the intended reaction took place! 😀

      Like

  8. Jay Lo permalink
    April 17, 2012 12:21 pm

    Great review! I thought this was an amazing movie 15 years ago, and now in 3-D it takes it over the top. I forgot how good this movie was in the theater, and I loved the feeling of being on board. This has been a movie I’ve watched and was an excellent suggestion from my coworker.

    Like

    • April 17, 2012 8:17 pm

      Thanks.

      Like

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