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Review: The Lone Ranger

July 2, 2013

lone_ranger_ver2The Lone Ranger

  • Starring: Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean), Armie Hammer (Mirror Mirror), Helena Bonham Carter (Les Mis) and more.
  • Directed by: Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean)
  • Synopsis: ““The Lone Ranger” is a thrilling adventure infused with action and humor, in which the famed masked hero is brought to life through new eyes. Native American spirit warrior Tonto (Johnny Depp) recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid (Armie Hammer), a man of the law, into a legend of justice—taking the audience on a runaway train of epic surprises and humorous friction as the two unlikely heroes must learn to work together and fight against greed and corruption.”
  • Rated: Rated PG-13 for intense action, violence and suggestive material.
  • Must-Watch Trailer:
  • Review:

Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer star as the classic duo in this adventure from Disney under the direction of Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean and Rango). This origin story gives an insightful background on the beginnings of the “masked man” and his sidekick Tonto. Does The Lone Ranger give audiences a good reason to once again visit the wild west? or will it cause audiences to wish that it went like his horse, Silver…”Away”?THE LONE RANGER

The Lone Ranger is long and lame (The LAME Ranger). Starting off rather odd, it carries the same vibe throughout amid a surprisingly brutal level of violence in relation to other films bearing the “Disney” name. Along with a sufficient, albeit largely unnecessary supporting cast, Johnny Depp plays Tonto in a fashion very similar to Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean) next to Armie Hammer as the titular character. Focusing largely on the last ranger and bringer of justice, The Lone Ranger does little to create any sense of hope, attachment or interest in the additional characters and story. (There’s literally no reason for Helena Bonham Carter in this film.)The-Lone-Ranger-Helena-Bonham-Carter

Borrowing much from The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, The Lone Ranger entertains (mainly due to Depp) yet never ends up near as funny or interesting. Much like a carnival magic show, plenty of things happen to confuse or delight you, but nothing of note actually takes place. Disney took the Lone Ranger, a symbol of justice, and did an injustice with this visual version full of disappointing CGI and intermittent borderline racism.

loneranger

Mindless, nonsensical and often disengagingly boring, families may enjoy this film with the bit of wit and western style action it contains. Though it would better be entitled “Tonto & The Search for The Lone Ranger,” if asked to go see this film again, I will reply “Hi-yo, Silver, NO WAY!” I really felt like I wasted my time watching this one with the exception of looking for three of my friends throughout in the background scenes of the movie. Looks like I am right so far with my list of disappointing films of the second half of 2013. We’ll see how the rest of these six months go.The_Lone_Ranger_New_Banner_Cine_1

The Lone Ranger was worse than expected…and I already expected it to be bad.the-lone-ranger_01

My Score: out of 5 stars for The Lone Ranger

(Remember, to read this review of mine and over 250 more, check out THE ARCHIVE of movies I have reviewed anytime. Know before you go…or rent…or buy!)

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Thanks for reading! Happy Watching!

T, The Focused Filmographer

up next: Review of White House Down

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23 Comments leave one →
  1. July 2, 2013 3:21 pm

    Thank you for saving me $10, T. I probably would have wandered into this at some point. So much time, money and energy that could have gone into something original and interesting.

    Like

    • July 2, 2013 10:59 pm

      no problem, Paula. Thanks for reading. I am sure some reviewers will be kinder to this film than I, but I saw no point in candycoating the problems I saw. It’s not a western, not a comedy, not…anything. It doesn’t know what it wants to be except a cowboy-ish version of POTC (and probably just the sequels at that).

      I can’t recommend this…and it was filmed just North of me

      Like

  2. July 2, 2013 8:49 pm

    Meh! As much I like Johnny Depp, this one did look like Pirates of the Caribbean just a la western style just from the trailers. Now that you mentioned Gore Verbinski as the director, I guess the style makes sense 😉 Great review!

    Like

    • July 2, 2013 11:00 pm

      ha. You hit the nail on the head! Same director. Good eye for the style.

      I don’t get the appeal for Johnny Depp too much anymore. But I do like the first Pirates of the Caribbean!

      Like

  3. July 2, 2013 8:56 pm
    • July 2, 2013 8:56 pm

      Sorry, that was meant to say:

      APPLAUSE

      Like

      • July 2, 2013 11:02 pm

        😀

        Like

  4. jackdeth72 permalink
    July 2, 2013 11:07 pm

    Hi, Terrence:

    That you for seeing and critiquing a film that has rubbed me the wrong way since initial talks began.

    As a child of the 1960s. Just as if there isn’t some guy in a rubber suit tearing up cheap Toho Studio balsa wood and rice papers sets of downtown Tokyo. It AIN’T Godzy!

    If the film doesn’t start with Rossini’s ‘The William Tell Overture’ and star Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels riding all over old Republic film sets. It AIN’T The Lone Ranger!

    Like

    • July 9, 2013 7:35 pm

      🙂 Thank you for the kind compliment. Yes, this one was not a winner in my book not at all. It plays the William Tell Overture during a scene that is less exciting than the music itself. just…meh.

      Like

  5. July 3, 2013 2:23 am

    Wow, pretty damning! My dad wants to see this being a big fan of the original stuff, so I’ll be going along with him. I think I’ll take a book.

    Like

    • July 9, 2013 7:36 pm

      if he is a big fan of the original, then I fear what he will think of this one. Take your book…and cover his eyes!

      Like

  6. July 3, 2013 4:52 am

    Good review, looked awful from the first trailer and glad I was right to be avoiding this one 😀

    My dad loved the tv show and liked the idea of a remake film but after seeing the trailers he was put right off haha xD

    Like

    • July 9, 2013 7:37 pm

      yes, I am proud of you for avoiding this one. 🙂 j/k

      but it was bad. and your dad is wise

      Like

      • July 10, 2013 1:17 pm

        I can see crap flying a mile away 😀

        Like

  7. July 3, 2013 3:06 pm

    Like you, I expected it to be bad, but the good news is that I don’t have to even review it as a public service to everyone. So, as the Sharks on TV would say, “I’ll pass on this one. I’m out!”

    Like

    • July 9, 2013 7:38 pm

      Thanks Dad. Yes, pass on this one! 🙂

      Like

  8. Ted S. permalink
    July 3, 2013 3:47 pm

    I was thinking of seeing it this weekend but with a super low 20% rating on Rottentomatoes and your review, I’m skipping this turkey. It’s no wonder Disney decided not to heavily promoted the film, I mean I didn’t know it opens this week until I saw the ad on TV Sunday night. I guess they realized they’ve got a bad film on their hands and just promote it as little as possible and save some cash, LOL.

    Like

    • July 9, 2013 7:39 pm

      You are paying attention to some very telling signs. Keep doing so and you will be a rich man. 🙂

      Like

      • Ted S. permalink
        July 9, 2013 11:15 pm

        Unfortunately I ended up seeing it, my lady and I couldn’t figure out what to do last Friday night so we went to see it. We saw it at one of the most popular movie theaters in MN and there were only 5 people in the theater including us and it was a Friday night! So yeah the film was tanking big time.

        But I didn’t hate it like most critics, I thought it was okay, just too long and the tone was so uneven.

        Like

  9. July 3, 2013 10:32 pm

    Nice review, terrence. The LAME Ranger indeed. Guffawed at that, my friend. Look, I’ve read a lot of trash about this film, most of it stemming from people’s lack of interest in a Pirates Of The Caribbean clone again from Verbinski, and i admit, I’m in no hurry to see this thing either. The promotion of this film here in Australia has been abysmal, and the footage i’ve seen has done nothing to alleviate the feeling I had from day one that this was gonna be a Western Turd a lot like Wild Wild West was. Dear God, when will Disney learn.

    Like

    • July 9, 2013 7:41 pm

      haha. Thanks for reading. I am glad that the review entertained. I really was disappointed and I already expected it to be bad.

      I only wish it wasn’t being compared to John Carter…because I loved John Carter

      Like

Trackbacks

  1. I Took The Silver Bullet So You Don’t Have To – The Lone Ranger (2013) « Durnmoose Movie Musings
  2. The Lone Ranger Review: Disney’s $250 Million Identity Crisis | Rorschach Reviews

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